Last week I had surgery. It was planned, although I don’t think we ever “plan” on having surgery! It wasn’t small, yet not so intense as some of the surgeries I’ve watched my parents and other loved ones go through… and it is already jam-packed with lessons for me.
I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy. I’m 41 and have been dealing with some pretty insane fibroids for the past two years. I had a procedure done last year that I had hoped would solve the issue, but no such luck. The relief was temporary but made me realize that I had been living with unnecessary pain and discomfort for a while. When all that came back again this spring, I knew I needed to REALLY do something about it.
So I did. I decided to have an organ removed so these persistent buggers didn’t have a place to come back to. So I can get back to my best, feel great, and be healthy.
But I’ve also learned that I need to slow down a bit.
Let go of what doesn’t serve me. Let go of the things I don’t need to be worried about. Of the notion that I have to do everything all by myself.
I started on that last bit a few months ago. I had support in ways I knew I needed it – encouragement, mentoring, coaching – but I still thought I could do it all myself.
Until…I started to work with an amazing Assistant. I mean incredible. She gets me. And she gets stuff. All of it. She catches the pieces I don’t. She thinks of things I don’t. She’s soooo good at stuff I’m not good at… or not meant to do. It’s seriously the best.
And I brought on an “intern”. I put it in quotes because she’s not just an intern. She’s this bright spark of the future, but right here, right now. I knew soon after I met her that she was someone I wanted to be a part of LillaBlu… and it’s even more amazing than I had imagined. She’s teaching me, too, as we go through this journey – about trust, and dependability, and creativity, and letting go. She’s showing me what being a part of LillaBlu looks like, and she’s nailing it.
I’m not very good at resting.
Or recovering. My body seems to be pretty good at it… but when it comes to my part in it… I push too much. I want to pick things up and put them down. Where I want them. When I want them. (Note: I am not the easiest nor most patient patient. So to the Super Human that offered to be by my side through this… limitless gratitude and adoration.)
So I knew I would struggle… but only with some things.
I still hold my clients’ work and priorities close. The one or two things hanging out there are still on my mind and I’m working on them between naps (seriously, this recovering thing is boring AND exhausting), but otherwise, I know these amazing teammates have everything covered. Handled, and then some.
I said I wouldn’t do any work until Thursday or Friday last week. As of writing this blog (on my phone by the way), I still hadn’t opened my laptop. Not bad…
So what have I learned so far?
- I’m frustrated with myself for digging into work so soon… even though I waited 3 whole days.
- I’m human.
- I know myself. Boundaries, little ones, work best. And I have to let my control enthusiast side have some (small) wins along with me that wants to be zen and relax.
- Letting go is so important. Even if it’s just letting go of a little. At a time. It’s an ongoing practice for me.
- I need support. All kinds. The Super Human making sure I don’t push my recovery too much. The doctors and nurses that did an awesome job on my surgery. My family and friends for offering their help and companionship (and chauffeuring skills) while I get back to normal operating speed.
This team. These amazing souls that make everything fun and easy and beautiful. They make it all possible. What did I ever do before they came into my life?!??
I know that this downtime, while not as fun as hiking through Glacier National Park as planned for vacation, will be beneficial in the long run. I can’t drive, so no meetings. Time spent learning and resting and growing and listening. Not so much the doing. I wonder how I will do with less doing???
I guess I’ll have to let go of knowing how I’ll do and just see.
Are you ready to let go a little? Curious to see how support can help you make things fun and easy and beautiful, too?